Getting What We Want

Isn't this the biggest dilemma in life? How do we get what it is we want? What do we have to do? Who do we have to be nice to? Where do we have to go? Many of us would give anything, do anything, just to know.

So, how do we figure it out? There are so many books, videos, lectures, seminars & the list goes on and on, that will tell you what someone else did to get what they wanted. The idea is that if we want what they wanted and do what they did then we'll somehow get what we want or at the very least what the other person got. Right? And that's good enough, right?

My issue with this plan is that all the times in my life that I've done that - it hasn't worked for me. I don't get what I want and I certainly haven't gotten what someone else got. Or maybe I did, but since it wasn't what I wanted, I didn't like having it!

Now, I sit here wondering how to get what I want. I think I should make a plan. It's important to write things out so I know if I'm on the right path - that's what all the books/videos/lectures/seminars say. But what if that's not how it works for me. What if my way is different? What if I'm my own kind of special? Just like everyone else is their own kind of special...

What if part of the reason it's important for me to find my own way is so that I can encourage others to trust themselves as they set out on their path - that's different. I can tell you that the idea of being different from everyone else can be scary at times and I would love to have someone say "It's okay. You don't have to do it like everyone else. I didn't and it worked out really great for me. I'm right here with you if you have any doubts, I've got your back and I KNOW you can do it!"

So, I think I am that person for me. I get to be my own cheerleader. Tell myself what a great job I'm doing and to keep up the good work. I get to remind myself of all the things I've already done. All the joy, peace, inspiration and blessings I've already brought into my life. I get to KNOW I can do it and keep trusting myself to make it happen in the perfect time.

One more thing I'd like to share is that more and more I'm finding that what I want is really inside of me. What I want more than anything is peace and joy. All the other stuff is extra. I like extras - I think they're great, just not necessary. And honestly, peace and joy aren't necessary to live, but it sure makes it so much more worthwhile.

Being Special

Here's a funny thing about life. We all want to be special. That alone isn't funny. I think it's completely natural to have the desire to be special. The funny thing is that we also want to be normal. Normal and Special don't necessarily go together in my book. Special is somehow different from everybody else. And normal, well that's just exactly the same as everyone.

I remember as a kid I knew I wasn't really the same as everyone else in my classes. First off, I think I only ever had one other "Erika" in any of my school classes and she spelled her name with a "c" instead of a "k". Thankfully, I met that Erica early on in school so that I didn't feel completely alone.

To illustrate my point I'll share a story...I've got a sister named Olivia and her nickname as a child was Libby. Now, let me tell you that thirty years ago there weren't many Olivia's and certainly not a Libby to know - except my sister. The way I remember this all happening, this sister was VERY distraught over being so different from everyone else. There were like 6 Jenny's in her class, a few Stacy's and some Michelle's. No one had even heard of Olivia or Libby - she was different. But in 4th grade different doesn't mean special. Different means weird.

Since that time, this sister has grown into a beautiful, talented, wonderful woman who loves her name and knows it suits her well. And interestingly enough, there are Olivia's, Libby's and even Livy's all over the place now.

So, how do I tell myself, and my children, that different is special and wonderful and amazing? How do I get rid of the desire to be the same as everyone else? How do I know in my heart that sticking out is the best gift in the world because it proves how special I am?

All these questions are finding answers in my daily life. I know that so much of what I chose is different than my family and friends. I know that I am what some might call an 'odd duck'. I also know that I am living my life in the manner that works for me. I am teaching my children with love and as much patience as I can manage in each moment. And I'm able to do this because I'm choosing to be my special. My special isn't about getting someone else's approval. My special is special because of me.

The other important thing for me to remember is that just because it works for me doesn't mean it will work for anyone else. Chances are it won't ever work for someone else because it was created for my life, for me and my experiences. So, with this knowledge, I have the opportunity to love myself, my life and my choices. I also have the opportunity to love everyone else - because they are special too. Their special may look different and sound different than mine and that's wonderful because that emphasizes just how special each one of us is!