Comfort

Something I've talked about but not often thought about is 'comfort foods'. Generally, they are those foods that remind us of childhood - being safe, protected, loved. And generally, we turn to comfort foods when we are feeling the opposite of all those things.

Food has been an opportunity for me to grow in my life. At various times, I've felt out of control - like life was just happening to me. When that happened, I would eat because I could control what went into my body. Another bonus was that I didn't focus so much on the emotions I was feeling because the discomfort of being so full required all of my attention. This was a vicious cycle in my life because then I would feel bad about how my body looked and felt, but then I'd again turn to food to dull my senses. The only time I was 'comfortable' while turning to 'comfort foods' was when I was putting the food in my mouth.

So, what makes 'comfort foods' so appealing? I believe it has to do with the fact that it reminds us of a simpler time. When I was a child, life was easy and effortless. I could run, play, dance, sing, sleep - whatever my heart desired in that moment. As an adult, life looks a lot different. I have my children that I am responsible for teaching. I have my home to care for. I have my husband to support. It seems like very little of my time is really mine and when I feel this way I want to find comfort, peace.

Probably the wisest thing for me to do now is determine what is causing me to feel dis-comfort and then make a change. But I'm not sure where or how to begin that...Part of me believes that if I just get through the rest of the summer I'll be okay. Once the kids are back in school I'll have more time each day to myself and I won't feel so drained/sad/over-whelmed. Another part of me knows that it won't go away if I don't address it. It may move to the back burner for a time, but it will still be there - waiting for me to handle.

I thought about finding a class of some sort, something for me to do each week that's mine. I didn't find any classes that interested me. What I'd like is something that stimulates my mind, that challenges me to think, stretch and grow. I'd also like it to be something that I can set aside when I need a break. My life challenges me all the time but I can never put it aside. Well, I don't feel like it would work very well if I put my life aside until I was ready to work on it again. I guess that since I haven't done that, I don't know for sure...

Maybe the only comfort here is knowing it's part of the journey. This is the life that I have chosen and there are bumps along the way. This path has roses, sunshine and the most amazing fragrance. It's also important to remember that there are thorns on the roses and the rain must come to water the plants that make it so beautiful here. I'm the one who decides if I'll curse the rain and the thorns or if I'll be grateful for the wonder that exists because of them.

When I look at life in that manner, I don't really want 'comfort foods' because I've found comfort in my life.