Trust

I had neglected to trust myself this morning and blog right when I got on the computer. Instead, I checked all my email accounts, went on Facebook and checked out every one's status...So when I finally got here to blog, I had no idea what to write.

I wrote about that, which lead to another idea and another. I was feeling really good about all the stuff I was writing today and then I lost it all! My hope that it was just hidden in another window was merely a dream.

So, now I start again...

Okay, I just remembered that I'd promised to tell you how the "love everyone" thing went for me yesterday. I felt pretty good about it most of the day. The evening was a different story. At the end of the day I rate myself for the whole day: 1 - poor, 2 - good, 3 - very good, 4 - excellent. If I'd rated myself at 3:30 in the afternoon it would have been a 3, close to a 3.5. Then homework hit...At homework time I'm thinking about dinner, the hubby coming home from work, anything else going on that night and so my attention is not centered on one thing. I'm kind of a little spastic, actually. And my son, who requires the most attention at homework time, doesn't do well with a spastic mom, even though I really want him to just get past that. So, at the end of the day, I gave myself a 2 and realized that homework time has to be a time that I am calm, peaceful and centered on one thing - homework. This teaches my son that in that moment he's more important than dinner, his dad coming home from work or whatever else might be going on that night. And I know that is so important for him to know - that reaffirms his self-worth so he knows the world is safe and he can trust himself.

So, I guess that was what this whole thing was about this morning. I trust me which teaches my son to trust himself.