Today

Today I'm moving slow. Really slow. Most days by this time I've picked up my house, worked out and then I sit down to write. Today is a different story. My house is in shambles, I'm still in my p.j.'s and I'm wondering what I could possibly write about today. I'm kinda feeling funky, and not the good, disco kind of funky.

I know that one of the things I've struggled with in my life is balance. I'm usually more of an all or nothing kind of girl. This is great a lot of the time, but at others it's not so great. I'm finding that the more I do the all or nothing thing, the less I feel at peace. It's important for me to do those things that I want, when I want to and also to remember that I've got to be me when whatever that thing is is over.

Here's the other thing I just realized. I'm kind of irritated with me for not being 'on' today. And of course when I'm irritated, I feel bad, and being irritated with me I feel even worse, which lends itself to feeling even funkier, and on and on it goes until I'm stuck in bed all day because I feel so bad about it all. I've done this before. So, I'm pretty excited to know that part of feeling bad is just that I'm feeling bad about me. And when I look at that and realize it's just for now, it's just an experience and it doesn't have to last forever, I already start to feel better! It's a miracle!

The key here for me is knowing that each day can be different, and I can be different each day. That's honoring who I am and how I feel. And I'm the one teaching others how to treat me by the way I treat myself. If I act like I always have to be the same, it's kind of silly for me to be upset if someone else says I can never change. WOW! This is such a great lesson for me to have today - I am so grateful to see it this way.

I'm feeling pretty good right now. Mentally, I'm at a place where I can see how I can move through my day and get things accomplished (which is quite different from about 20 minutes ago). I also know that I may not do all the same things I do most other days and it's okay. I will live and life on the planet will continue. How neat for me!