What Other People Think

How many times have we been told (or even said to someone else) "it doesn't matter what other people think"? Growing up I remember hearing it a lot and I'm sure I've said it to numerous people in my life. For the most part I've got a good grasp on the concept. Strangers on the street or acquaintances - whatever they may think doesn't matter to me. I'm grateful for this because it allows me a degree of peace and sanity in my life.

My hang up is the people I care about. Bit by bit, over the years, I've let go of a lot of these though. I absolutely love my parents and siblings. However, what they think about what I'm doing in my life isn't that important to me anymore. My biggest hurdle now is my kids and spouse. These are the people, the relationships, that I define myself by.

What I'm learning is that as I'm concerned about what these important people in my life think, I stop being me. I stop living my life and become worried, obsessed and even consumed with being okay in their minds. I realize that as I spend my time and energy trying to be what they want me to be I get all worked up into a frenzy (emotionally and sometimes physically) and whatever bit of peace I once had I've sent running away. Peace can't stay in an un-peaceful place. If I'm choosing to be worked up, I'm choosing to let my peace go. This is a HUGE realization for me.

It's important for me to clarify right now that I completely love my family. My husband and kids are the biggest part of my life and I am grateful beyond words for them. What I'm describing here is caring for them in a manner that works for all of us. I do my part to make there be peace and joy in our home and then I allow them to do their part to create the same. I am in charge of my life and I allow them to be in charge of theirs.

As with so many other things in my life, I'm working all of this out. It's a beautiful place to be. Knowing what I am able to control and what I'm not able to control. Knowing that I get to show my children by example how to be happy, peaceful and truly have joy in life.